Van Gogh One of the things people generally admired about Van Gogh, even though they were not always aware of it, was the way he could make even a chair seem to have anxiety in it. Or a pair of boots. David Markson, Wittgenstein's Mistress anxietyobjects
The illusion of anxiety Or because of hormones. And so which would not really have been anxiety at all, but only an illusion. Even if one would certainly be hard put to explain the difference between an illusion of anxiety and anxiety itself. David Markson, Wittgenstein's Mistress anxiety
Chilled-out anxiety Working in the typical dot-com office was an admixture of frenetic pace and a relaxed overall atmosphere, exemplifying that chilled-out anxiety which was the general mood of the 1990’s. Nikil Saval, Cubed technologyanxiety
Paranoia What's worse? Thinking you're being paranoid, or knowing you should be? Shane Carruth, Primer anxiety
What's wrong? Pay attention, boy. The next suitable person you're in light conversation with, you stop suddenly in the middle of the conversation and look at the person closely and say, "What's wrong?" You say it in a concerned way. He'll say, "What do you mean?" You say, "Something's wrong. I can tell. What is it?" And he'll look stunned and say, "How did you know?" He doesn't realize something's always wrong, with everybody. Often more than one thing. David Foster Wallace, The Pale King anxietylife
Distraction To me, at least in retrospect, the really interesting question is why dullness proves to be such a powerful impediment to attention. Why we recoil from the dull. Maybe it's because dullness is intrinsically painful; maybe that's where phrases like 'deadly dull' or 'excruciatingly dull' come from. But there might be more to it. Maybe dullness is associated with psychic pain because something that's dull or opaque fails to provide enough stimulation to distract people from some other, deeper type of pain that is always there, if only in an ambient, low-level way, and which most of us spend nearly all our time and energy trying to distract ourselves from feeling, or at least from feeling directly or with our full attention. David Foster Wallace, The Pale King boredommelancholyanxietyattentionpain
Test anxiety It was part of a larger discussion about younger examiners and television and the theory that America had some vested economic interest in keeping people over-stimulated and unused to silence and single-point concentration. Shackleford's observation was that the real object of the crippling anxiety in 'test anxiety' might well be a fear of the tests' associated stillness, quiet, and lack of time for distraction. Without distraction, or even the possibility of distraction, certain types of people feel dread—and it's this dread, not so much the test itself, that people feel anxious about. David Foster Wallace, The Pale King anxietyattention
The Waiting Place A Poem by Dr. Seuss silverbirchpress.wordpress.com Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting. waitinganxietytimemelancholy
Deadlines are bullshit An Article contrariantruth.substack.com In software development deadlines are a necessary evil. It is important to understand when they are necessary, and it is important to understand why they are evil. External vs. internal deadlinesWhy are internal deadlines evil?Engineers who love their work Hofstadter's LawThe Thing-deadline calculusNever enough timeDriving engineers to an arbitrary date is a value destroying mistake bureaucracysoftwareprocesswork
External vs. internal deadlines When are deadlines necessary? Contractual obligations Technical liabilities (e.g., dependency EOL) Compliance, government, investors, and other external stakeholders What do all of these deadlines have in common? They are all important. They are all deadlines that cannot be missed. They are all external. When are deadlines evil? Your manager says you have a deadline Your software development methodology says you have deadlines What do all of these deadlines have in common? None of them are important. They are arbitrary. They are all internal. They are all bullshit.
Why are internal deadlines evil? Estimation: When estimating engineering work a substantial time investment is required by an engineer in order to get an accurate estimate. Misaligned Incentives: There is an incentive to lie and give estimates much longer than the feature is truly expected to take. Low Morale: Deadlines are likely to be missed often. Repeated failure has a cost to the morale of the team. Micromanagement: Deadlines are wielded by middle managers as a whip to harass and annoy engineers working on features. High Stress: When engineers feel the pressure of other stakeholders holding deadlines over their heads it creates an environment of high stress. High Turnover: On teams with high turnover rates the best engineers have an easy time finding new work and leave quickly, the worst engineers have a difficult time finding work and remain. This selects for a lower quality team over time.
Engineers who love their work The resolution is simple. Never have internal deadlines. Operate on a prioritized and ordered list of features. Estimate only when necessary to prioritize and do so in a t-shirt sizing way. Trust your engineers and they will begin to love their work. Engineers who love their work are happy and productive. Building is never a straight line